Why our family should never get the iphone :(

We all just got brand new cell phones about a week ago. Goodbye 2002 razor and hello LG EnV3. It even has a keyboard, so I'm sort of 2007ish. I'll never be cool enough to be 2010 though :) My friend Tuhin explained why I will always be 2000 and late... "Phones breed like rabbits." Thanks Tuhin.

I was so excited to get our new phones, that I forgot how wonderful my razor really was. Now that I have my new phone, it's so much more difficult than I thought it would be. I feel like a cell phone degenerate... Yes degenerate when I use my phone. A monkey typing on a keyboard... Ooh.. Ooh... eee...eee ...Why you ask?

1. I am now the slowest texter backer with a keyboard.


2. When I'm texting with the keyboard, I accidentally pick up a call and people start talking to me.


3. I haven't been able to figure out how to change my ring when I have a voicemail. Unfortunately, the default rings sounds like a porn song... I was standing by my best friend Julia and it started ringing... She said it sounds like a porn song and everyone else around us agreed... True story.

My mom on the other hand loves the phone. She barely knows how to answer her razor, so I don't know what she's going to do with this phone. She actually wanted the iphone, but we told her no. She doesn't even have her own voice on her voicemail. It's my dad saying, "this is Hanh's phone."

My mom said for months she wanted a "touch, touch, touch (with touchscreen motions)." When she got this phone, she's been telling everyone how the keyboard is "so cute." Unfortuately, she still doesn't know which way the keyboard opens, but every single person who walks by she tells them "keyboard...So cute." She's so amazed that they make a full keyboard that small. I love my mom... I think she's so cute. Yes mom, this is 2010 and we have keyboards that small.

My dad got a LG Chocolate Touch. He loves it. He thinks it is the best thing next to the Lexus RX. He can listen to FM and AM radio on his touch. We were sitting in the living room as he learned to work his phone...he was showing me all of the functions and it's pretty cool. Not as cool as the iphone, but nothing will ever be.

Anyways, he's trying to show me the voice recognition feature and here's how the conversation went:

Attempt #1

Dad: Call Linda

Phone: Calling Xing Ming Xao

Attempt #2

Dad: I said call Linda

Phone: Calling Mai Ling Pin

Dad: I said Linda, not another Asian!

Attempt #3

Dad: Call Linda

Phone: Calling hospital

Dad: You so stupid. You not so smart. You can't call Linda (Imagine with cute Asian accent)

Attempt #4

Dad: Call Liana (My little sister)

Phone: Calling Linda

Dad: I give up. Now call Linda? I don't want Linda. Stupid phone. Think it's broken Linda.

Me: Dad it's not broken, but why don't you just type in my number.

Dad: I like that. Phone won't mess up numbers, it know better..

Apparently, the voice recognition translates everything to Chinese names. Who knew... With all these problems with these simple phones, how would we be able to handle the iphone? Seriously, we'd be like Hansel in Zoolander who couldn't get the files out of the computer.